Married men - do you stop loving your wife when she lets herself go?

I just cant imagine ever letting myself go when married - id be too scared my husband would stop finding me attractive.





I'm always on a really strict diet, i work out and take care of my skin. I'd get botox, cosmetic surgery like chemical peels etc to keep looking good.





I know marriage is supposed to be a bond that goes beyond looks but i believe men love their wives less when they let themselves go.





Is that true?Married men - do you stop loving your wife when she lets herself go?
';You're fired!';


Donald Trump





Dear Diamonds:


It's terrible that we get so much of what we want.





You're on your way to finding an employer instead of a man. Someone for who performance reviews will determine vacations, presents, and affection. The thing is that you'll get perfect scores...until you don't. The true employer husband fires the wife for her first facial lines or extra five pounds and replaces her with a newer model. A real model.





Please hear this again. You'll work hard, look good and be sweet. That is not enough. You have to pick a man who isn't going to be an employer husband. Yet your focus on looks instead of generosity, caring and forgiveness will tend to attract the employer husband.





He'll look like a perfect match because he appreciates your discipline and hotness. Yes, your hotness will be part of his appearance. Will he want to discard your heart when you start looking plain against the new set of 20 year olds? You can be the most desirable woman on the planet today and lose that title the next.





Yes, it's good to keep looking good. No question. The more important question for you to answer is:





';Will your intense focus on being disciplined to have good looks affect the guy you pick for a husband?';





Absolutely. And it could be a bad thing for you. It can mean you'll hear at a vulnerable time in your life ';Your fired!';Married men - do you stop loving your wife when she lets herself go?
I have gained weight since I got married, and I blame it on being happy, content and eating more regularly than I did when I was single. My husband has not waivered in his love and attraction for me. Regardless, I have been exercising regluarly and making efforts to eat healthy - both for my cholesterol, self esteem and for my husband.





So yes, I think the marriage bond goes much deeper than appearances, but men are also visual creatures and I like to keep up my appearance within reasonable measures.
I would never stop loving my wife, if I were still married, however I think that two people who are married should always try to be be the best they can be for each other,





This does NOT mean Botox or cosmetic surgery or any of that sort of extreme behavior. Your husband will find you attractive if you just take care of yourself and don't start filling your shopping cart with processed foods, pop and potato chips and spend most of your day on the couch!





Remember how you liked to look good for each other when you were dating? It doesn't stop or at least shouldn't stop once you say I do!
There are many forms of love, and for many guys the equate how the feel standing next to you, as how they love you, so as shallow as that may sound to some, yes, for some guys if his wife falls apart which almost happens to all women at some point, they loose interest, and then consciously or unconsciously start looking for something younger and prettier.





These would be the wrong sort for marriage, because although they would be great spouses starting out, they will not be good spouses back in the later years when you really need them.
it depends on the man i personally was a little relieved when my wife let herself go a little it let me see that she is actually flawed in some ways and not always perfect years into a marrage you cant keep up some fake barbie doll image of yourself now dont get me wrong she didnt get huge and ugly but she is confortable with me enough that she knows that i am not in it for eye candy she still goes to the gym and wears makeup but no extensive not to mention expensive and harmful things to herself if your man loves you then the prettiest you look to him is first thing in the morning before the make-up and the clothes
Are you doing all these things for some man or for yourself. If you think outward apperances keep men in love, you have a sad, shallow idea of what love is. Sometimes 'letting yourself go' just means you've developed different priorities in life than spending all of your time monitoring your eating and getting extreme beauty treatments.





I think you will find this out when you're actually in love with somone who loves you.
lol ,im 43 i DONT need botox,skin peels etc i still look good (im an individual rock chick type who hates girly stuff!) its easy to let oneself go if one is bogged down with lots of kids,,its not only body but in mind too,i think some mums become only focused on the kids and dont have anything else to concentrate on or talk about,such as career or education and guys can be put off when a lady gets into that stuff an dthe marriage becomes boring,so i would say id nEVER let myself go
It is definitely very, very good and more attractive to your husband that you look after yourself. Hopefully you're not only doing it for your husband but also for yourself. No matter what happens to your body as you get older, if you still have a healthy love and respect for yourself, your husband should love you no matter what you look like.
in my opinion. i would love my wife no matter what. i would never cheat.


but, if she became lazy, didnt want to work for the rest of her life. then goes out and spends all my money, things might go down the track.





but u should only get married when u are both 100% sure. thats what causes divorces.





but ur husband will still look at ur body, so keeping it in good shape is important. but guys who dont try and fix the relationship, are shallow. getting divorced is the easy way out.





even her personality would change once she stopped working out. less energy. personality change. u marry someone who woks out. if they stop. they will not be the same person.
in other words you need to marry a rich *** man to keep up your fake beauty.
Yes, because when a woman lets herself go it not only means they become less physically attractive, it is also a sign of laziness.
I am actually pretty sad for you that you feel the need to do all this in fear of divorce. Age happens, children and time change a person. But, love should endure it all.
botox? you sound scarey.





you know one day your all going to be old and wrinkley. you cant stop that from happening unless you get so many facelifts you look like a cat.
There is letting oneself go and than just the natural affects of aging. My wife has a few grey hairs now, a few wrinkles and a very slight weight gain but I still love her the same (if not more).
If it's something beyond her control and she at least tries no, but if she just gets flat out lazy and doesn't care to even try then yea it could head that way.
Letting oneself go is a clear sign that they have no self respect. That alone makes them unattractive.
Letting yourself go is a good way to be replaced .
It's so sad that you have to get all the work done and not be a natural beauty. So sad.
working out and taking car is good for everyone but if my man only loves me cos i look good ....I would find him mean and it would turn me off..
Then if I were you, I wouldn't ever have kids. Pregnancy does disastrous things to the body!
Depends on the man, what he values in life.
It depends on what you mean by ';letting yourself go';. And it depends on the circumstances.





I look back at photos of the past 20 years, and I see that when my children were small, I was ';housewifey';.. in comfortable clothes, usually jeans and a tshirt, or tracky dackies and joggers, with my hair pulled back in a pony tail, usually minimal makeup during the day, but always with a smile on my face. Why? Because during those years, taking care of my children and having a happy home was more important to me than having manicured nails or full face of makeup or designer clothes. Whats the point? The babies are sure to vomit on me, or wipe their dirty hands on my clothes when I pick them up, or I'll get playdoh or paint or dirt from the park on my clothes and under my fingernails anyway.





And my husband always appreciated my homebaked goodies, and hot dinner on the table, kids bathed and ready for bed, when he came home at the end of the day. Did he expect a perfectly manicured and made up barbie doll wife to greet him a the door? NO WAY.





Of course I made the effort to be more classy when my husband and I were going out together. And he never missed out on attention and loving from me either. I had plenty of sexy lingerie to remind him that I was all-woman and then some!





Yes, take care of yourself by all means. Exercise, have good hygiene etc. For YOUR OWN good health. But dont pretend to be something youre not. Botox? Getting a wrinkle as you age is not ';letting yourself go';, its nature, its going to happen to all of us one day.





Men are simple creatures... as long as their partner is clean, comfortable and his home life is comfortable, they dont need a ';princess';. And those fickle husbands that do expect a ';princess'; for a wife, well those husbands had better be prepared to pay a housekeeper, nanny, cook, cause their wife cant stay too princessy if she's gotta bog down and do all that dirty work and run around after his kids, now can she? (assuming they have kids, that is).





Men who only see or seek women for their beauty on the outside, (instead of seeing the true beauty of a having a loveable, loyal, competent wife, and mother of their children)... well those husbands arent really worth having anyway are they? They're likely to run off with the first blonde barbie doll they see, and then blame it on their wife.





Thats my 2 bobs worth anyway.
';Letting her self go'; is a euphemism for being lazy.





When the vows say: ';for better or worse';... it doesn't mean you should TRY to make things LESS GOOD - and the other should have to deal with it. My ex-wife - once tried to FLOAT that as acceptable. She was being a real PAIN in the butt and she said - Well see this is the WORST - that you said you'd put up with.





No No NO NO NO!!!





That Better or Worse means that if everyone one is working for a better life and something OUT OF YOUR CONTROL happens... THEN you hang in there... because you said you would.





A woman who ';let's herself go'; isn't doing what's required for her OWN heath and self-esteem. She very likely isn't doing the things necessary for the CARE and FEEDING of the relationship.





You're darn right that's going to make a husband Unhappy that takes a toll. Love/Relationships are a living, breathing, morphing thing. If you don't maintain them - they will whither and die.





I'm astonished.. that women are SHOCKED when they find that their men or husbands are seeking the attentions of a woman who is willing to GIVE him what he wants and needs.





It's almost FUNNY - They say ';I've not done ANYTHING to deserve this... '; and that's the answer - they've done NOTHING.





The patient has staved to death... and is gone. The patient was the LOVE that was once there.